I felt like I had just woken up from a bad dream. I was waking up with cancer!
I knew I wasn’t going to let this define me. However, I teetered between feeling confident that I was going to be around to be a grandma and knowing that this was not my death sentence, and feelings of being incredibly alone, as if I was planning my funeral. It was a terrible reality! I knew I was not alone, and I knew that others diagnosed with a chronic disease felt the same way, too.
Really what I didn’t know then was that all of that above is what saved me! I have a family that loves me, and that I need to be here for. I have an amazing husband that never passed judgment on my “crazy” plans to ditch oncologists (which is kind of a funny story for later). He let me lead my path without expressing his fear that I might die, and if he ever had any fears, to this day I still don’t know when he felt them. He was always walking alongside me and supporting my decisions. My parents both were on my side as well, telling me that they would do whatever it took to help me go through these alternative treatments. My mom lived at my house when my husband traveled with me, and when I traveled alone, she came over to help with our girls. From rides to school and activities to dinner and laundry, she helped with it all. My siblings were always calling to make sure I was feeling okay and doing well. My in-laws and extended family were all checking in and following closely on a Facebook group page that one of my best friends made to help keep others updated on my journey. All in all, I was so blessed to have such a strong support system during my treatment, and continue to feel grateful for these people every day.